Sunday, April 1, 2007

I am... the crap king!


Success! Last night I hopped on my computer to check, as I usually do, woot.com to see what they are putting up for sale. Since they put their new item up every night at midnight Central Time, I could still buy Sunday's item without actually buying anything on Sunday. But, to be fair, up until last night I was just a woot observer, I had never actually wooted. For some reason I check faithfully every day to see what item woot.com is selling at a ridiculously low price. I don't buy too many things, so the odds that something woot.com is selling is what I need, and I haven't already gone out and bought it, are slim. This is why I just have enjoyed seeing what they are selling and reading their clever descriptions.


Last night was different though. I hopped on aroudn 11:15 PM to see that they were selling a Bag O' Crap. This is a rather rare phenomenon where woot.com just sells a grab bag of random items for $1. You can buy up to three, which is smart since you are paying $5 for shipping. These Bags O' Crap, or Bandoliers of Carrots as their webpage forum software is wont to render the term "BOC," sell out very quickly, usually within 10 minutes. These periods of intense buying where a couple thousand Braille on Cookies (also another term the forum changes "BOC" to) are sold in 1o minutes often result in the woot.com server going down. The reason for this intense fury is the uniqueness of this crap. You never know what you are going to get. The grab bag is a random assortment of items they haven't sold in the past. You usually get a camera bag, a toy dinosaur, some pens, a pda stylus, or a keyboard. Some really random stuff overall. However, a couple people here and there have been known to get a Nintendo Wii or a 61" HDTV. Pretty sweet for $8.


Today being April Fools added a clever twist to the story. The BOC's where priced at $1,000,001 instead of the normal $1. Some people thought this was a funny but annoying joke that had wasted a day of wooting. Others tried a brute force solution to the problem and tried to charge their credit card the ridiculous sum. Mysteriously the user peggo50 had somehow managed to buy a Bucket of Crabs. How did she do it? It was perplexing. Then the users started to catch on and the BOC's were going like crazy. The key was entering the word "please" into the coupon code section of the checkout form to score $1,000,000 of the price. This had been hinted at in the BOC description. As soon as I figured out that you had to enter something in the forum I went to the page, clicked on "I Want One" and started signing up for a woot.com account. I managed to put all my information in and then tried entering random words into the coupon field like "AprilFools." No luck. I went back to the forum and found out that I had to enter "please." Alas, by the time I went back to the page, it said they were sold out. I went back to the forum to wallow in my pity. I had failed. Yet interestingly enough there were some that said they were still able to buy some after the original "Sold Out" appeared. I went back to page and saw that the "I Want One" button was still up. Apparently the page reserved some BOC's for people that clicked on the button, but when they were unable to figure out the riddle, the BOC was relinqueshed.


In a flurry of touching and clicking, I hammered my way through the buying process. Barely glancing at the form, I filled in "please." Agh! It was denied. I had to type in my CID for my card. I couldn't spare the time to look at my credit card, I just busted off the three digits that I thought it was from memory. The confirmation page could cost me the bag so I just clicked on "Continue." Then was the moment of intense waiting. The page kept refreshing as it said it was trying to complete my order. The server was getting hit hard so it took a good 1o minutes. Finally I had achieved success. I had scored my first woot, and it was a Bag O' Crap.


Ladies and gentelmen, this is not only a story of patience and will power, but it is a story of determination against the odds. It doesn't matter if someone says you can't, or if woot.com says it is sold out of Bandoliers of Carrots. Frankly, I don't freakin' care. I want my crap, and so do you. Go for the gold....


I'll post my booty when I receive it, as long as I receive it. I am ashamed to admit that in typing my address I forgot to put my apartment number. Oh well. I still am the crap king.