Monday, November 2, 2009

One Egg Wonder

That is the name of this awesome little pan I found while rummaging through cupboards the other day. It has never been used. But it looks awesome and I am going to use it after this blog post. Isn't it awesome looking? Totally teflon. In fact it says "Non-stick inside and out." I am still trying to figure out what would be sticking to the outside. The beauty if this pan is that the other week I was frying an egg in a way large pan, let's call it the "ten egg mediocre" pan in honor of this naming schema, and as I was trying to contain egg white from running everywhere before it congealed, I thought to myself, "This is a pain, I wish I had a better pan." Crazy huh?
But, I was reading the warning label on the back, trying to see if it came with directions, because oddly enough frying an egg is a difficult thing for me to do. But guess what crazy fact I found about pans and the fumes they emit when overheated. Stop guessing, cause you won't get it. I'll just tell you. They harm exotic birds! Here it is, straight from the label with my commentary:

Frequently Asked Questions [I wonder how they define "Frequently." And where are these pan connoisseurs gathering with their queries? I highly doubt any question based around a pan could be considered "frequently asked"]

Q: If the cookware is accidentally overheated, will there be hazardous fumes? [I hadn't even thought of this question, so it is good someone knows more about pans than me]

A: Any material overheated at a high enough temperature will emit fumes [I think I would beg to differ with that point. What about water? That is more of a vapor than a fume. But, I like their logical setup]. Fumes from overheated non-stick ookware will not adversely affect humans or household pets, [At this point I'm thinking, okay standard answer, nothing to write home about. But then they slam me from left field with this curveball!] with the exception of certain exotic birds [Wow! How did they ever find out that? Props to T-Fal for throwing a bunch of exotic birds and teflon pans in a furnace together. Major props.] Users should observe good cooking practices and never allow non-stick cookware to overheat. For safety, always keep birds in a well-ventilated room away from the kitchen [I feel like they need to qualify this suggestion. Because, I've got a bunch of birds, actually the tender loins of birds, frozen in a very poorly-ventilated and very cold space inside my kitchen. Technically, I am not following this instruction but I'm going to break protocol on this one.]

Anyway, off to cook an egg.

Crap! I just tried to call T-Fal to get the scoop on how they figured that out. Turns out, they have very generous customer service hours from 8-5:30 EST, and they take the last call 5 minutes prior to closing. And unfortunately, I was calling at 5:29. Meh.

9 comments:

Mary said...

Well, congrats on finding the pan. Nothing like that sort of a discovery to brighten your day. Still, I feel bad for those exotic birds...

Tyler said...

that is pretty funny

cindy said...

I actually learned this about teflon when I was a nanny, because they had tropical birds. They were very quick to warn me to be careful when cooking...I hated those birds anyways, though, so maybe I should have let it overheat...hey, I never did.

.:Rhea:. said...

This is so funny! I was going to comment on how much I loved my one egg pan when I was single, but I kept on reading and started laughing so hard I was crying. I don't know if it's the stupidity of the frequently asked question, or your sarcastic commentary that did me in. The combination was definitely hilarious.

Stephen Anderson said...

I can't say I've ever had the desire to cook one solitary egg, but I'm glad that things are working out for you, culinarily speaking.

shan1420 said...

Thing do stick to the outside of a pan! For example, say you crack an egg on the pan, sometimes a little bit can run off the outside. See, it happens.

I use to have a bird in my kitchen. It was a cockatiel though, so i guess that's not exotic, but nevertheless it never died.

cking said...

Hilarious. Who knew little (and I suppose big too) pans were harmful to birds? Fascinating! Thanks for sharing that with those of us who haven't read the FAQ on pans:)

Maria said...

Update, Gabe! We need an update1 Did yu ever call the company back??

Amy R said...

Okay, so this is Cindy's stalker sister. Yes, once in a while I still read your blog. I just have to say that I wish I'd known this when I had annoying exotic birds living in the apartment below me....