Friday I headed straight from work to Chuck E Cheese's. Maybe that alone was a weird enough event to inspire my mind to think of the most interesting things. But in the time between 5:45 and 6:45 I had the following thoughts:
- Upon seeing a business called "Sprinkler World" right next to Chuck E Cheese's - "That sounds way more fun that it could possibly be. Come on, "Sprinkler World?" It sounds like some sort of theme park. I think it should fall under the offense of false advertising."
- Upon walking through Target trying to find a gift for my nephew and seeing the aisle for weedkillers - "Roundup... That is it, that would be by far the oddest gift I could get Joshie. What would a 6-year-old even do with roundup? I guess he could kill weeds? Why is this even crossing my mind? Is there really nothing else of more consequence to be pondered that I have time to think about what would make the most illogical gift for my nephew? Apparently..."
- Upon walking out of target, having the first door automatically open for me and then almost walking face first into the second door, which didn't even start to open till I pushed it - "This is how it is going to start, the robot revolution that is. First, all it starts with is just a little attitude from the simplest robots, like not being prompt in opening a door for a human, next thing you know? We'll have ovens swallowing little children and robots running down old ladies for 'points.' That, Adam, is when you'll really have to help them across the street.
- While sitting alone in Chuck E Cheese's surrounded by screaming kids in front of the stage where the fake band plays and still thinking about the impending robot rebellion - "When it happens, I want to be as far away from these creeps as possible (the robots, not the kids. Kids weren't too creepy). Like, if I feared any robots it would be these guys, robot versions of Chuck E Cheese and his band whom we have enslaved to a life of misery, constantly performing the same mind-numbingly asinine parodies day after day in front of a crowd of screaming kids. These guys will be out for blood."