Thursday, March 20, 2008

Driving Lessons with a 5 year old

Yesterday I spent some quality time with my nephew Joshie. He's a funny kid. You see, he's learning to drive at the age of 5. Who's teaching him you ask? Well, he's actually self taught.

Earlier this week his mother was out in the van with the 4 boys dropping of Visiting Teaching assignments. She pulled into a driveway. Since she was only going to stick a note on the door, she decided she'd leave the door open and the car on.

Joshie, being the helpful young chap that he is, decided that he would do a little life optimization for his mom. According to him, he figured he would "unlock the gears" so that his mother had one less thing to do before they left. So, sitting in the front seat, he leaned over and pulled the gear shifter into reverse. At this moment the van started rolling backwards as both Joshie from in the car, and his mother from outside the car started screaming. The car managed to roll backwards and crash into a white fence before Joshie, who had very quickly transformed into the antagonist, wrenched his destiny towards protagonist and put the car back into park before they went any further.

So, when we hung out for a couple hours yesterday, I decided to give him a few more formal lessons behind the wheel:

Joshie and I went to mentor Fernando. Afterwards we decided to pursue Lucky the Leprechaun. Lucky is, according to Joshie, a "messy leprechaun" that they have at school. Apparently on St. Patrick's day, Joshie started attributing every misplaced item and unaccounted for missing ounce of milk to Lucky the Leprechaun.

At school Lucky wrote Joshie and told him that he "live[s] under a waterfall and it is beautiful." So I suggested we go look for him at Bridal Veil Falls up Provo Canyon. Despite my attempts to paint Lucky in an ill light with comments such as, "Joshie, what are you going to do if he pulls you under the water?" Joshie's view of Lucky was untainted.

We went to the falls only to find the access road closed due to avalance danger. Once again I tried assailing Lucky's character by suggesting that perhaps they are afraid that Lucky would start an avalanche if people tried to find him. My attempts to cast Lucky as a would-be murderer were met with Joshie saying, "No, he probably lives at Thanksgiving point." I agreed and said that was a more central location to both his school and house. Heck, Lucky probably walked to his house. Once again Joshie dissented by informing me, "No, it would be too late for him to walk. He probably drives a little truck."

Apparently I don't know anything about leprechauns.

1 comment:

Cindy said...

oh I love 5-year-olds. The world is so simple to them--indeed the world is black and white to them. How I wish I had that same mindset still.